The Confessions Stand

Dan Millman, author of Way of the Peaceful Warrior, described a time when his mentor, named Socrates, challenged Dan to sit out on a large, flat stone until he had "something of value" to share. Dan sat out on the rock for hours and hours. On more than one occasion, believing he had come up with something, he went to tell Socrates. Each of these times, Socrates decided the statement was not good enough, and he sent Dan back to the rock for more hours of pondering. Finally, Dan had an insight that he knew was something of value. When Dan shared this insight, Socrates looked up, smiled, and welcomed Dan back inside. The "something of value" that Dan had realized was this: "There are no ordinary moments." This is the essence of gratitude. No moment, nothing in life, should be taken for granted. In developing gratitude for every moment -- for the simple joys, and even for the challenging times in our lives -- we come to truly enjoy and appreciate life. Then we are able to see the magic that surrounds us every second of every minute of every day.

We Live In An Entitlement Society!
What in life do you feel is coming to you? Health? A good job? Children? A peaceful retirement? Check yourself out.
If you're like me, you probably have a whole list of things you feel entitled to, and if you don't get them, you feel cheated. If you are unable to take a vacation or buy the home you've dreamed of, then life has robbed you of something you are entitled to!
We live in a society that feeds an entitlement attitude.

Having More Gratitude Begins Here
1. Eliminating entitlement from your life and embracing gratitude is spiritually and psychologically liberating.
2. Gratitude is the recognition that life owes me nothing and all the good I have is a gift.
My eyes are a gift. So is my wife, my clothes, my job and my every breath. This is a major shift from the entitlement mode.
3. Recognizing that everything good in life is ultimately a gift is a fundamental truth of reality.
To speak of seeing everything good we have as a gift leads us to confront the reality of a giver and the source of all this good: God.
4. Gratitude is where we begin to experience God in a powerfully personal way.

A powerful, although tragic, example of someone who mastered the gratitude attitude was a great Jewish woman named Bruria. Bruria and her husband, Rabbi Meir, had two sons who both died one Friday afternoon before Shabbat. Bruria decided not to tell her husband of the tragedy until after Shabbat since, according to Jewish law, one is not permitted to have a funeral on Shabbat or to openly mourn. There was nothing they could do until after Shabbat so she kept the information to herself and allowed her husband to enjoy the day (imagine being able to do that!). Explaining where the boys were was the least of her challenges.
When Shabbat was over this is how Bruria broke the horrible news to her husband. She asked him a legal question: What is the proper course of action if one person borrows two jewels from another and then the original owner requests that the return of the jewels. He replied with the obvious answer that one is obligated to return the loan upon demand. She then took her husband to where their two dead sons lay and said, "God has requested that we return the loan of our two jewels."
Bruria teaches us a potentially life transforming lesson here: Everything we have is on loan!

Everything We Have Is On Loan!
My ears are on loan, my health is on loan, and my children are on loan. Everything is a loan that is given as a gift.
What have we done that we could claim we earned life, health, financial success, or children? We have done nothing. As I mentioned earlier, when we internalize this truth, we become spiritually and psychologically liberated.
How freeing to live with a sense that everything good is on loan.
This is the key to internalizing the gratitude attitude. Once we understand that everything is a gift, we can begin to feel gratitude towards God, the source of all good, and grow closer to Him in an authentic and joyful way.

One thing that I have never been great at is something called patience. I think I am a man of preference; a man who enjoys instant gratification. Maybe you have found more of a handle on being slow-to-go or cool as a cucumber when it comes to gleefully waiting for something desired to unfold. By the way who ever came up with the term cool as a cucumber? I guess it came from the same creative person who coined the phrase hotter than a firecracker on the fourth of July.

One of my favorite quotes comes from a guy I never met or know very little about. Quite frankly all I know is the man was a famous writer. So famous I picked up just one remarkable 10 word mental resource. Robert Louis Stevenson wrote, "One thing at a time and all things in succession." I have always liked the part of all things in succession. It’s that one thing at a time thing that has always driven me crazy. Does anyone relate to me out there?

In truthfulness I have fallen in love with the idea of patience. The reason has not come very easily though. The reason has come by way of have to. You know the like it or lump it route that most everyone has to travel a time or two. Did I say time or two? I meant time. Times two. No! No! Wait a minute I have confused myself here--I meant time plus too many times to count.
I think you get the picture.

Yeah my ole friend patience has been the most difficult friendship of my life. Yet, a very necessary one I might add. Even the Bible jumps on the patience bandwagon by saying, "Let patience have her perfect work..." So patience is a her. Well that should explain all the problems that have come with patience over my lifetime. If patience is a her and her is a she, then there has to be a proverbial case of wisdom in the middle of all this somewhere. Like her being a gender thing and not being able to figure out women. Is this why I never have been able to figure out patience? I guess so since patience is a her. I know I am rambling mercilessly here.

Let me just move on and separate my ramblings by adding a little common sense. The Bible really does say, "Let patience have her perfect work." The context looks like this.

James 1:2-4
2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have her perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

A few things I have learned in the middle of my life experiences is that it does me no good to stress about trying to reach a goal in 7 days if it has to be a month process. Or to spend all nighters trying to get ahead of the pack while missing out on a peaceful nights sleep. Then there is the challenge of taking no thought for tomorrow because tomorrow will take care of it self. I have a new friend that reminds me weekly--No worries!

I guess I am living proof that old dogs can learn new tricks. Now don't think I have grown too soft on this patience or should I say impatient thing. I still have my Burger King moments. You the know the ones-- where I want it my way right away. I just know that I save myself a whole lot of grief when I sign an agreement with patience. When I sign on the dotted line I convince myself that it’s one thing at a time and all things in succession. Its here that I will have it no other way. Then again what choice do I have? Oh and by the way what choice do you have?

I have to admit that I never had heard of a Chuck E Cheese when I was growing up. Matter a fact there was nothing even like a Chuck E Cheese for kids like me in my neighborhood to go to and celebrate life or to have a birthday bash. Man as I look back what a bummer! It just doesn't seem fair that so many of us missed out on a fun land like CEC.

I am sure there are others who will read my blog and identify with all kinds of missing-out-on-parties over the younger years. Let's face it if we missed chances way back when, most people will offer us the ole--too bad--so sad--sorry your mad. Some may even sprinkle in some radical wisdom--stop your bellyaching and move on already. Some may even go as far as saying--forget about it and start making your life one big party now. Of course that isn't very realistic now is it.

I will tell you that I do believe we can make better stuff happen in our lives if we really want to party down at times and start enjoying our world a whole lot more than we may be enjoying it.
Past bummers need not keep us from future fun. In other words missing out on all those Chuck E Cheese moments doesn't have to keep cheating us from enjoying our Chuck E Cheese moments in the present tense. Hey come on find your CEC venue and get the party started.

Today was my son Deaven's Birthday. He turned 4. So my wife comes up with the bright idea that we must have a family celebration and throw a party. The party was held at---well you guessed it--CHUCK E CHEESE. My wife and I had as much fun as the kids did. It does the soul well when you time warp back into a former childhood and try to make up for lost time--and of course the lack of CEC's in the world back in the day.

Can you say Chuck E Cheese please? Some time soon if you haven't already done it in awhile. Stop what you are doing and go out and have some good quality clean fun. Laugh more than normal. Take some pictures for memory sake. Play some games. Eat some cake. Enjoy a sense of childhood that you may have missed. Share time with those you love.

I know today was a great Birthday for Deaven. Today also was a great day for me!

Smile! Say Chuck E Cheese Please!

Have you ever started to write an important letter to someone but found it difficult to get the words from your mind to the paper? Have you ever been faced with writing a school theme paper but ended up washed out trying to express yourself. Times like this you can't even go with the flow--because there is no flow to go with.

Lately my Confession Stand blogging has been on ice. The problem hasn't been due to not having anything to say it has been due to technical challenges with the publishing platform I use. I have had no flow-because there has been no flow to go with.
I have not been able to express myself because I have been without the proverbial computer pen and paper options. So here I am starting all over again.

Speaking of starting all over again, as difficult as that may be for some of us, starting over doesn't have to be a bad thing. Bad in the sense of always keeping us emotionally in the dark ages. Certainly many are facing "stuff" in life that has nothing to do with any major computer problems. Some are dealing with life altering or life threatening issues. Because of this life may seem less than worth living. My prayer is that a sense of hope from the heavens begins to crawl to your neighborhood and finds the place where you live.

In your present circumstances you just may find yourself having to start all over again. That's if you even dare to try. You may have to start over from a failed marriage or a job loss. You may be experiencing physical and financial setbacks. You may have lost a loved one who was your anchor in life. Or you may be battling with demons of darkness that just won't leave you alone no matter the hour of the day or the day of the week.

So here I am trying to sound an alarm for you. Trying to convince you that you can find a way to start all over again in spite of any flat line personal issues. Yes, I know that no one knows what kind of unamazing hell you are going through. No one may feel as awful as you do or have the kind of despair you are facing. Only you embrace your own reality. Nevertheless, I simply want to throw you a glimmer of hope that convinces you to find the fortitude to start all over again--at the place of your greatest need. It is possible you know!

It is possible you know! I just wrote that didn't I? Of course I repeated myself on purpose.
Just like this blog of mine--I am starting over again. But I can tell you that I have had my share of hell in life that I have willed myself through the darkness--and yes started all over again. Life in the cheap sits will always be a reality. Life in the pressure cooker will always exist. Life isn't always a tiptoe through the tulips. Rather it can be a knee deep (neck high) walk through the stinking barnyard with cow manure spread all around.

Starting over again means finding our way out of that barnyard experience. If you feel like you need a new route to travel, but haven't a clue how to find your way out of the deep stuff. Here is some advice--STOP and ASK for DIRECTIONS. The last time I checked the Bible is chalk full of positive answers that can help anyone find their way out of the STUFF!

This week for your sake and those you love--Ask for directions--Starting over again is a good place to start.

Like I promised I am back for another blog to address some of the serious problems surrounding the money pit involving debt. I used to spend so much time in this pit that I could count all my losses frontwards and backwards. Quite frankly I think I had an addiction to debt and financial crisis. I often tell people about one of my most life threatening secrets. I reveal to them that I had a winos billfold with a rich man's mentality. Boy did this help keep spinning my world around. Then I finally woke up and decided that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of being sick and tired of being in debt and living on fumes, shoestrings, and high interest credit cards.

Being alive has always been a good thing for me, however being alive and broke often made me feel like I was a living corpse. Being alive and feeling dead is never a feel good story. being chased down by creditors and looking for odd jobs to help make up the difference is both wearing and depressing. Being in a padded room without any electricity would have been a far better alternative. But I am here to tell you I have become not only a survivor but I have moved to a new neighborhood where thrivers reside. I have climbed the mountain of debt and overall am standing at the top of my former financial woes with a renewed hope and excitement for living. I cannot lie to you there are prices to be paid and selfish trends to let go of. But if you want to start climbing your way to financial freedom the choice is yours. YOU CAN DO IT!

Did you notice I said the choice is yours. I didn't say that it was anyone elses. It isn't your next door neighbors, a friend, your parents, a co-worker, a pastor or priest, a store clerk, or even one of your bill collectors. Nope! The bullseye is painted on you. You are the uno (number one) reason if you will expereince the freedom of eradicating debt and living in a newfound financial world.

So if you are ready to take on the responsibility, go ahead and take a quick look in the mirror and make sure you are being absolutely honest with yourself, and come back and read my next blog. It is here you will find some great insights and tools you can use to begin your process toward financial freedom.

I just figured you needed to sleep on it! Remember the choice is yours and not anyone elses.